








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2076 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 565 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5242 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3558 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 7108 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 5248 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,863,723 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2535 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tech | 79% | 68 |
| #2 | emo | 76% | 50 |
| #3 | Scouter | 74% | 85 |
| #4 | uhkelsie | 71% | 163 |
| #5 | Soviet_Squirrel | 61% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tech | 79% | 68 |
| #2 | emo | 76% | 50 |
| #3 | Scouter | 74% | 85 |
| #4 | uhkelsie | 71% | 163 |
| #5 | Soviet_Squirrel | 61% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uhkelsie | 25 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Scouter | 15 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Tech | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Soviet_Squirrel | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tech | 348 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| #2 | Soviet_Squirrel | 220 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | Scouter | 116 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | uhkelsie | 97 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | emo | 33 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tech | +4.13 | 85 | 76 |
| #2 | Scouter | +4.02 | 96 | 62 |
| #3 | uhkelsie | +2.74 | 90 | 32 |
| #4 | <:) htiaL | +1.29 | 66 | 52 |
| #5 | Soviet_Squirrel | +0.30 | 84 | 71 |





