








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 992 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2715 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1881 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2164 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2049 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $996,923 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 713 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waka | 72% | 57 |
| #2 | straF | 68% | 72 |
| #3 | illibabiPLSsaythebabi | 66% | 73 |
| #4 | Nec | 65% | 85 |
| #5 | Purplz29 | 61% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | illibabiPLSsaythebabi | 66% | 73 |
| #4 | Nec | 65% | 85 |
| #5 | Purplz29 | 61% | 18 |
| #6 | Axel | 53% | 32 |
| #7 | kurt | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nec | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | straF | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Waka | 8 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Axel | 6 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | kurt | 5 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | straF | 443 | 0.31 | 12 min |
| #2 | illibabiPLSsaythebabi | 232 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Nec | 167 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Waka | 157 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Axel | 127 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phi | +4.04 | 84 | 48 |
| #2 | Axel | +2.86 | 83 | 68 |
| #3 | kurt | +0.96 | 77 | 58 |
| #4 | illibabiPLSsaythebabi | -0.08 | 74 | 53 |
| #5 | straF | -0.74 | 75 | 66 |





