








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1633 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 765 | 34% |
| Smokes | 679 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 685 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 150 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $973,064 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 408 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alstad2k | 49% | 47 |
| #2 | iamTJ | 43% | 44 |
| #3 | Casi | 42% | 198 |
| #4 | mikken | 41% | 258 |
| #5 | Anders | 39% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mikken | 71 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | Anders | 41 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | Casi | 28 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | Alstad2k | 15 | 0.0159 |
| #5 | iamTJ | 7 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Casi | 687 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | mikken | 419 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | Alstad2k | 292 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #4 | Anders | 213 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | iamTJ | 122 | 0.14 | 3 min |





