








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,758 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3909 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3455 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1748 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2646 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $382,437 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 668 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vector | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | obi | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Camdle | 55% | 49 |
| #4 | H3LIX | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | riahoZ | 53% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | wys | 52% | 60 |
| #7 | pablo | 50% | 200 |
| #8 | british_ethan | 49% | 184 |
| #9 | pmin | 49% | 181 |
| #10 | bon | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | british_ethan | 29 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | pablo | 25 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | pmin | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | obi | 6 | 0.0241 |
| #5 | Camdle | 5 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pablo | 937 | 0.22 | 21 min |
| #2 | pmin | 440 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | british_ethan | 429 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | riahoZ | 158 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Camdle | 91 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | obi | +1.88 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | pablo | +1.63 | 81 | 56 |
| #3 | PriZm | +1.09 | 47 | 77 |
| #4 | wys | -0.21 | 44 | 47 |
| #5 | british_ethan | -0.42 | 72 | 46 |





