








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 340 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,624 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2374 | 51% |
| Smokes | 780 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1307 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 163 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $681,696 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 892 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H3LIX | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | riahoZ | 51% | 63 |
| #3 | PriZm | 49% | 181 |
| #4 | Vector | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | pablo | 45% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | pablo | 45% | 205 |
| #6 | british_ethan | 44% | 187 |
| #7 | Camdle | 43% | 84 |
| #8 | wys | 43% | 94 |
| #9 | bon | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pablo | 27 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | british_ethan | 27 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | PriZm | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Camdle | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | wys | 6 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pablo | 971 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #2 | PriZm | 968 | 0.25 | 25 min |
| #3 | british_ethan | 427 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Camdle | 308 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | riahoZ | 183 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pablo | +1.74 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | PriZm | +0.41 | 44 | 76 |
| #3 | wys | +0.26 | 41 | 54 |
| #4 | british_ethan | -0.05 | 71 | 47 |
| #5 | pmin | -0.51 | 42 | 48 |





