








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1610 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 604 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 122 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,967 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6198 | 20% |
| Smokes | 9825 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 7596 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7348 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,017,484 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoon | 52% | 618 |
| #2 | Lechuga | 51% | 203 |
| #3 | Suddam Humane | 51% | 268 |
| #4 | DreadNipple | 50% | 397 |
| #5 | Jay | 50% | 280 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | DreadNipple | 50% | 397 |
| #5 | Jay | 50% | 280 |
| #6 | xMikeshmya | 49% | 354 |
| #7 | Huntava | 48% | 178 |
| #8 | CHEESY GORDITA CRUNCH | 46% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xMikeshmya | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Hoon | 9 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Jay | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Lechuga | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | DreadNipple | 5 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoon | 1723 | 0.13 | 51 min |
| #2 | DreadNipple | 837 | 0.10 | 22 min |
| #3 | Lechuga | 777 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #4 | Suddam Humane | 586 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #5 | xMikeshmya | 549 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoon | +2.25 | 84 | 70 |
| #2 | DreadNipple | +0.77 | 75 | 61 |
| #3 | KiRKiVORE | +0.71 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | Huntava | +0.12 | 68 | 53 |
| #5 | Jay | +0.06 | 63 | 55 |





