








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,959 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2057 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1621 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3089 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2192 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $533,826 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xMikeshmya | 57% | 56 |
| #2 | DreadNipple | 52% | 104 |
| #3 | Hoon | 48% | 187 |
| #4 | Jay | 47% | 36 |
| #5 | Suddam Humane | 47% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Suddam Humane | 47% | 70 |
| #6 | KiRKiVORE | 46% | 216 |
| #7 | Lechuga | 44% | 32 |
| #8 | Huntava | 40% | 72 |
| #9 | fin $ | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoon | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | KiRKiVORE | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | DreadNipple | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | xMikeshmya | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Suddam Humane | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoon | 599 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | KiRKiVORE | 377 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | DreadNipple | 204 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Huntava | 155 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Suddam Humane | 152 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoon | +2.34 | 84 | 69 |
| #2 | Jay | +1.94 | 70 | 51 |
| #3 | DreadNipple | +1.54 | 74 | 63 |
| #4 | KiRKiVORE | +1.21 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | xMikeshmya | +0.61 | 69 | 54 |





