








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 546 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 288 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4571 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2924 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2171 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2774 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2434 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,266,083 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 874 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lechuga | 51% | 242 |
| #2 | KiRKiVORE | 50% | 280 |
| #3 | Hoon | 50% | 197 |
| #4 | Huntava | 49% | 55 |
| #5 | DreadNipple | 49% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Huntava | 49% | 55 |
| #5 | DreadNipple | 49% | 115 |
| #6 | xMikeshmya | 48% | 91 |
| #7 | CHEESY GORDITA CRUNCH | 47% | 36 |
| #8 | Suddam Humane | 44% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lechuga | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | xMikeshmya | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | KiRKiVORE | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Hoon | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | Huntava | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lechuga | 997 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #2 | Hoon | 539 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | KiRKiVORE | 403 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #4 | DreadNipple | 259 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Suddam Humane | 209 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoon | +1.67 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | DreadNipple | +0.89 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | KiRKiVORE | +0.37 | 70 | 60 |
| #4 | Jay | +0.36 | 64 | 53 |
| #5 | Huntava | +0.34 | 66 | 53 |





