








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 428 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8670 | 34% |
| Smokes | 7168 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5357 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4028 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,057,651 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 869 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheeks | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | Lechuga | 53% | 140 |
| #3 | xMikeshmya | 52% | 292 |
| #4 | KiRKiVORE | 52% | 618 |
| #5 | Huntava | 51% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Huntava | 51% | 188 |
| #6 | Jay | 50% | 197 |
| #7 | Suddam Humane | 50% | 219 |
| #8 | DreadNipple | 49% | 378 |
| #9 | CHEESY GORDITA CRUNCH | 48% | 187 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiRKiVORE | 14 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | xMikeshmya | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | DreadNipple | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Jay | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Huntava | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiRKiVORE | 983 | 0.08 | 30 min |
| #2 | DreadNipple | 757 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #3 | Lechuga | 489 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | xMikeshmya | 443 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #5 | Suddam Humane | 435 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoon | +2.24 | 85 | 70 |
| #2 | DreadNipple | +0.78 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | KiRKiVORE | +0.58 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | Huntava | -0.23 | 65 | 52 |
| #5 | Jay | -0.31 | 63 | 56 |





