








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 648 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 102 | 16% |
| Smokes | 167 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 167 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 212 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $123,630 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | jajat | 62% | 13 |
| #6 | silent | 59% | 17 |
| #7 | Tu veux dla Vodka ? | 50% | 2 |
| #8 | kungler_ | 50% | 2 |
| #9 | fandewejdene | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capitaine Cool | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | jajat | 2 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | The G's Plug | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capitaine Cool | 125 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | The G's Plug | 89 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | silent | 56 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | zekq_ | 25 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | jajat | 12 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silent | +4.33 | 80 | 70 |
| #2 | The G's Plug | +1.88 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | Capitaine Cool | +1.50 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | jajat | +0.00 | 55 | 48 |
| #5 | zekq_ | -0.62 | 76 | 48 |





