








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 166 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,655 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3566 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3730 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3033 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4326 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,768 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | =]]z | 72% | 43 |
| #7 | Hyperal | 71% | 45 |
| #8 | howeydoin | 59% | 56 |
| #9 | Twix | 55% | 71 |
| #10 | BobsBoosted | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =]]z | 6 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Hyperal | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Twix | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | howeydoin | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | BobsBoosted | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | howeydoin | 266 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #2 | BobsBoosted | 225 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #3 | =]]z | 194 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | Twix | 142 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Yuuki | 86 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yuuki | +3.42 | 86 | 58 |
| #2 | DevonJones | +3.29 | 84 | 42 |
| #3 | tyrant | +2.65 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | =]]z | +1.51 | 80 | 69 |
| #5 | Hyperal | +1.49 | 93 | 50 |





