








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 184 matches | ||
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4221 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2638 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2846 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2665 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2881 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,485,549 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 555 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyperal | 65% | 54 |
| #2 | Fwyer | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | yAcK | 60% | 47 |
| #4 | howeydoin | 59% | 44 |
| #5 | tyrant | 55% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | The Enforcer | 53% | 45 |
| #7 | mogged | 51% | 39 |
| #8 | Sleety | 50% | 30 |
| #9 | ImNotCasper [LEAKY BARREL GANG] | 46% | 35 |
| #10 | BobsBoosted | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyperal | 12 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | Fwyer | 8 | 0.0143 |
| #3 | The Enforcer | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | mogged | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | ImNotCasper [LEAKY BARREL GANG] | 4 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tyrant | 298 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | howeydoin | 215 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sleety | 150 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | BobsBoosted | 143 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | yAcK | 133 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mogged | +2.60 | 87 | 41 |
| #2 | howeydoin | +2.36 | 82 | 78 |
| #3 | tyrant | +2.35 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | Hyperal | +2.07 | 90 | 57 |
| #5 | ImNotCasper [LEAKY BARREL GANG] | +1.65 | 92 | 40 |





