








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 362 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,635 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1354 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1274 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1299 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1708 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $900,711 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _-AstRo-_ | 83% | 18 |
| #2 | 狗石丹 | 77% | 22 |
| #3 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 61% | 70 |
| #4 | 4dapse | 61% | 28 |
| #5 | tudorrr | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 61% | 70 |
| #4 | 4dapse | 61% | 28 |
| #5 | tudorrr | 57% | 23 |
| #6 | Mik125 | 55% | 44 |
| #7 | not_OrAnGe | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Mik125 | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | 4dapse | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | tudorrr | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | _-AstRo-_ | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 248 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Mik125 | 119 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | 狗石丹 | 91 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | 4dapse | 67 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | tudorrr | 56 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4dapse | +3.54 | 87 | 52 |
| #2 | 狗石丹 | +2.46 | 56 | 55 |
| #3 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | +1.92 | 87 | 62 |
| #4 | Ebybl1k | +0.99 | 80 | 59 |
| #5 | tudorrr | +0.86 | 66 | 61 |





