








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 569 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 166 matches | ||
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5985 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3231 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2913 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1890 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2597 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,695,781 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 657 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Narvado | 77% | 30 |
| #2 | d4vvY | 71% | 24 |
| #3 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 68% | 75 |
| #4 | web 4 | 66% | 41 |
| #5 | 狗石丹 | 63% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sen | 16 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Pluneto | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | _-AstRo-_ | 10 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | Mik125 | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pluneto | 607 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 332 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #3 | sen | 217 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Mik125 | 211 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | d4vvY | 162 | 0.32 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Narvado | +3.37 | 79 | 74 |
| #2 | 4dapse | +2.74 | 84 | 48 |
| #3 | 狗石丹 | +2.44 | 54 | 55 |
| #4 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | +1.95 | 85 | 65 |
| #5 | web 4 | +1.36 | 76 | 53 |





