








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 985 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 426 matches | ||
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,043 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4651 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6566 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3513 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5313 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,757,768 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 57% | 164 |
| #2 | Feralfa | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | Ebybl1k | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | 4dapse | 54% | 96 |
| #5 | tudorrr | 52% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 4dapse | 54% | 96 |
| #5 | tudorrr | 52% | 144 |
| #6 | donald | 52% | 73 |
| #7 | molodoyfan | 49% | 95 |
| #8 | Pluneto | 46% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | molodoyfan | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Pluneto | 9 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | 4dapse | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | tudorrr | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 661 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #2 | tudorrr | 471 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | molodoyfan | 326 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | Pluneto | 286 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #5 | donald | 241 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4dapse | +2.70 | 86 | 48 |
| #2 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | +1.82 | 92 | 58 |
| #3 | Pluneto | +1.29 | 82 | 60 |
| #4 | Mik125 | +0.68 | 83 | 46 |
| #5 | Ebybl1k | +0.06 | 79 | 65 |





