








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1085 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,018 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2089 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1803 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1877 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1249 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $402,090 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bNy | 58% | 107 |
| #2 | nLk | 57% | 122 |
| #3 | Hoax🍋 | 55% | 170 |
| #4 | Giggity Giggity | 55% | 143 |
| #5 | Collynzen | 55% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Hoax🍋 | 55% | 170 |
| #4 | Giggity Giggity | 55% | 143 |
| #5 | Collynzen | 55% | 117 |
| #6 | Kat | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | Decadenza | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Collynzen | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | bNy | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Hoax🍋 | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Giggity Giggity | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | nLk | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nLk | 424 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | Collynzen | 365 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | bNy | 301 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Giggity Giggity | 285 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Hoax🍋 | 272 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Decadenza | +4.63 | 92 | 69 |
| #2 | nLk | +3.72 | 87 | 81 |
| #3 | Collynzen | +1.15 | 72 | 64 |
| #4 | Hoax🍋 | +1.06 | 75 | 64 |
| #5 | bNy | -0.17 | 60 | 70 |





