








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 298 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 208 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,173 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4842 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5360 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4470 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4501 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,143,648 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Annex | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | Niya | 63% | 126 |
| #3 | renegerd | 63% | 123 |
| #4 | aLx | 62% | 105 |
| #5 | Collynzen | 62% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Giggity Giggity | 58% | 122 |
| #12 | Flysick | 57% | 122 |
| #13 | hAcky | 57% | 37 |
| #14 | Decadenza | 56% | 34 |
| #15 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Collynzen | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Giggity Giggity | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | renegerd | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Hoax🍋 | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | aLx | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Collynzen | 563 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | Hoax🍋 | 430 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #3 | bNy | 247 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Niya | 243 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | aLx | 242 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nLk | +3.50 | 87 | 79 |
| #2 | Decadenza | +2.19 | 89 | 76 |
| #3 | renegerd | +1.77 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | ai | +1.73 | 86 | 64 |
| #5 | Annex | +1.61 | 88 | 68 |





