








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,850 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 894 | 31% |
| Smokes | 705 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 524 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 727 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $89,882 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leae | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | Bobby Critz | 88% | 8 |
| #3 | t0rtle | 86% | 7 |
| #4 | Awsome | 81% | 21 |
| #5 | Dios | 80% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | T19 | 50% | 4 |
| #16 | c0ntr01 | 45% | 11 |
| #17 | squidah | 20% | 5 |
| #18 | Sinxysinxy | 20% | 5 |
| #19 | RECKLESS | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0ntr01 | 2 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Awsome | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | VagueDark | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | ✪ JustLetItHappen | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | squidah | 1 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Awsome | 138 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #2 | pecan50 | 112 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | c0ntr01 | 38 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | VagueDark | 37 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | neight | 36 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | squidah | +5.96 | 86 | 54 |
| #2 | exalt | +4.23 | 83 | 68 |
| #3 | neight | +3.26 | 79 | 69 |
| #4 | Orb1t | +2.82 | 76 | 64 |
| #5 | t0rtle | +2.66 | 73 | 75 |





