








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1339 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1337 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1190 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 930 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $423,756 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saadjärve Lihunik | 69% | 64 |
| #2 | Aizen | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | Andr^ | 67% | 36 |
| #4 | Steroids | 66% | 41 |
| #5 | .ru | 65% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saadjärve Lihunik | 19 | 0.0152 |
| #2 | .ru | 13 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | Aizen | 8 | 0.0223 |
| #4 | Andr^ | 7 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | wheels | 7 | 0.0211 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .ru | 175 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Aizen | 125 | 0.35 | 2 min |
| #3 | Andr^ | 89 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Saadjärve Lihunik | 50 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Steroids | 39 | 0.05 | 1 min |





