








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 436 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1406 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 873 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 672 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,569 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .ru | 28 | 0.0232 |
| #2 | Andr^ | 14 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | Saadjärve Lihunik | 13 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | Aizen | 11 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | wheels | 9 | 0.0195 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aizen | 367 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #2 | .ru | 229 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Andr^ | 160 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | m1nthy | 140 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | Smaikels | 125 | 0.15 | 4 min |





