








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 669 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5779 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5133 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5156 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4447 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $897,184 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 396 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Aizen | 55% | 123 |
| #7 | Saadjärve Lihunik | 54% | 287 |
| #8 | Sven | 51% | 134 |
| #9 | m1nthy | 50% | 279 |
| #10 | wheels | 49% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .ru | 68 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Aizen | 53 | 0.0223 |
| #3 | Saadjärve Lihunik | 48 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | wheels | 35 | 0.0173 |
| #5 | Steroids | 14 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m1nthy | 1202 | 0.22 | 28 min |
| #2 | .ru | 1142 | 0.14 | 32 min |
| #3 | Aizen | 845 | 0.35 | 12 min |
| #4 | Saadjärve Lihunik | 210 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sven | 186 | 0.07 | 6 min |





