










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 543 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




129 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9317 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1775 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1124 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 3060 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 1310 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,541,892 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Andr^ | 54% | 287 |
| #6 | .ru | 53% | 331 |
| #7 | m1nthy | 49% | 273 |
| #8 | Sven | 46% | 107 |
| #9 | Aizen | 42% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .ru | 38 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Aizen | 31 | 0.0208 |
| #3 | wheels | 24 | 0.0176 |
| #4 | Andr^ | 23 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | m1nthy | 13 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m1nthy | 1128 | 0.20 | 27 min |
| #2 | .ru | 916 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #3 | Andr^ | 890 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #4 | Aizen | 541 | 0.36 | 6 min |
| #5 | Smaikels | 170 | 0.14 | 5 min |





