








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




94 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1551 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3345 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1449 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2720 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1833 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $596,739 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 402 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Steroids | 53% | 62 |
| #7 | wheels | 53% | 123 |
| #8 | Sven | 48% | 121 |
| #9 | Saadjärve Lihunik | 42% | 76 |
| #10 | m1nthy | 40% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .ru | 58 | 0.0226 |
| #2 | wheels | 48 | 0.0200 |
| #3 | Saadjärve Lihunik | 30 | 0.0202 |
| #4 | Andr^ | 22 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | Steroids | 9 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .ru | 440 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Andr^ | 366 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | wheels | 237 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | m1nthy | 220 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sven | 209 | 0.09 | 5 min |





