








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 741 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,453 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12624 | 34% |
| Smokes | 9938 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7873 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7240 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,314,942 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 767 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nbq | 59% | 110 |
| #2 | Mr.Bager | 59% | 83 |
| #3 | WHSADV | 58% | 50 |
| #4 | Ea | 57% | 70 |
| #5 | Quan Ching | 55% | 234 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Olovski '') | 51% | 162 |
| #9 | mcknn | 49% | 102 |
| #10 | ._. | 48% | 83 |
| #11 | Zinkostos | 46% | 56 |
| #12 | Slyntyg | 44% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quan Ching | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | sIW ♿ | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | nbq | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | mcknn | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | ._. | 6 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quan Ching | 581 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | sIW ♿ | 470 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | Olovski '') | 422 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | nbq | 365 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #5 | mcknn | 304 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nbq | +4.55 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | WHSADV | +2.82 | 42 | 76 |
| #3 | Mr.Bager | +1.79 | 42 | 73 |
| #4 | ._. | +1.40 | 48 | 70 |
| #5 | Quan Ching | +0.43 | 44 | 69 |





