








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1458 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1118 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 266 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




123 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 75,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 20812 | 28% |
| Smokes | 17443 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 20022 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 16878 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,106,100 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1011 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mattepatte | 57% | 97 |
| #2 | Quan Ching | 54% | 76 |
| #3 | Maaki | 53% | 159 |
| #4 | mcknn | 46% | 102 |
| #5 | kanylbulle | 46% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Quan Ching | 54% | 76 |
| #3 | Maaki | 53% | 159 |
| #4 | mcknn | 46% | 102 |
| #5 | kanylbulle | 46% | 101 |
| #6 | Ea | 40% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ea | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Mattepatte | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | mcknn | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | kanylbulle | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Maaki | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maaki | 548 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | kanylbulle | 386 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | mcknn | 332 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | Quan Ching | 197 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mattepatte | 178 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mattepatte | +2.00 | 70 | 63 |
| #2 | kanylbulle | +1.81 | 59 | 61 |
| #3 | Quan Ching | +1.76 | 47 | 63 |
| #4 | Maaki | +1.39 | 56 | 65 |
| #5 | mcknn | -0.29 | 38 | 69 |





