








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4539 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5625 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4784 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4830 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4909 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $722,643 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ._. | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | huliganhassan | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | Quan Ching | 54% | 48 |
| #4 | Mr.Bager | 54% | 56 |
| #5 | Maaki | 49% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sIW ♿ | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Xsmoizz | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Quan Ching | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | nbq | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Mr.Bager | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sIW ♿ | 320 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Maaki | 314 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Xsmoizz | 282 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | nbq | 242 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | LillMaaki | 176 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nbq | +5.63 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | stoffe | +2.90 | 70 | 70 |
| #3 | WHSADV | +2.50 | 48 | 71 |
| #4 | Mr.Bager | +2.27 | 46 | 71 |
| #5 | Quan Ching | +1.81 | 47 | 68 |





