








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 531 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4067 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4358 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4734 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4398 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,276,619 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 672 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nbq | 56% | 57 |
| #2 | WHSADV | 56% | 45 |
| #3 | Maaki | 55% | 234 |
| #4 | huliganhassan | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | mcknn | 54% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Ea | 52% | 46 |
| #9 | Olovski '') | 50% | 42 |
| #10 | Slyntyg | 48% | 56 |
| #11 | Mr.Bager | 48% | 54 |
| #12 | woryaabdii Clash.gg | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sIW ♿ | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | mcknn | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Ea | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Maaki | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Slyntyg | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maaki | 905 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | sIW ♿ | 229 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | nbq | 180 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | mcknn | 155 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mr.Bager | 150 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nbq | +3.31 | 64 | 65 |
| #2 | Mr.Bager | +1.89 | 44 | 72 |
| #3 | Olovski '') | +1.81 | 61 | 65 |
| #4 | WHSADV | +1.70 | 44 | 73 |
| #5 | Quan Ching | +0.58 | 44 | 68 |





