








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2046 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1322 matches | ||
| Wingman | 295 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Esplay | 18 matches | 1,846 | |
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Renown | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 150 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17114 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 74,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16130 | 22% |
| Smokes | 19111 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 19275 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 19785 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,416,586 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 724 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loOlerbl4de | 59% | 264 |
| #2 | 𝖈𝖍0𝖕 | 54% | 243 |
| #3 | Scar3fly | 53% | 259 |
| #4 | Maaki | 51% | 162 |
| #5 | ☩ .m I N I L I T O. ☩ | 49% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scar3fly | 18 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | 𝖈𝖍0𝖕 | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Escobars_sideh0e | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Maaki | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | loOlerbl4de | 2 | 0.0004 |





