








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,981 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6806 | 43% |
| Smokes | 4279 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1232 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 3664 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $768,716 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olovski '') | 66% | 53 |
| #2 | | Zan^ | 64% | 42 |
| #3 | Maaki | 59% | 110 |
| #4 | Zinkostos | 57% | 37 |
| #5 | Quan Ching | 56% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Ea | 47% | 64 |
| #12 | Mattepatte | 47% | 47 |
| #13 | WHSADV | 44% | 88 |
| #14 | Xsmoizz | 43% | 42 |
| #15 | mcknn | 43% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | Zan^ | 6 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | WHSADV | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Quan Ching | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | sIW ♿ | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | mcknn | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maaki | 333 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Olly | 219 | 0.31 | 6 min |
| #3 | | Zan^ | 201 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #4 | mcknn | 200 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | WHSADV | 174 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nbq | +3.92 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | | Zan^ | +2.34 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | Mr.Bager | +1.84 | 44 | 72 |
| #4 | WHSADV | +0.42 | 46 | 75 |
| #5 | Quan Ching | +0.40 | 40 | 65 |





