








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
252 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,173 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 359 | 31% |
| Smokes | 238 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 343 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 233 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $75,243 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Capitaine Cool | 63% | 32 |
| #7 | zekq_ | 53% | 19 |
| #8 | jajat | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | Bilzeiboube | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | Philly | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zekq_ | 4 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | Capitaine Cool | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | jajat | 2 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Philly | 2 | 0.0128 |
| #5 | The G's Plug | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capitaine Cool | 186 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #2 | The G's Plug | 76 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | zekq_ | 30 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | jajat | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Philly | 14 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capitaine Cool | +2.53 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | The G's Plug | +2.25 | 76 | 76 |
| #3 | STk_ #FROMHELL | +1.15 | 61 | 52 |
| #4 | zekq_ | +1.10 | 81 | 47 |
| #5 | Sveighdir | +0.73 | 82 | 76 |





