








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1670 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1993 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1575 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2265 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $698,934 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | S v e n | 54% | 13 |
| #15 | ams | 54% | 106 |
| #16 | Tijs | 51% | 82 |
| #17 | morale- | 48% | 40 |
| #18 | RiverApo | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tijs | 21 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | phox | 19 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | Bobzy Malone | 18 | 0.0126 |
| #4 | Another | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | ボムビー | 8 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ボムビー | 438 | 0.33 | 11 min |
| #2 | Another | 398 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Tijs | 269 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | ams | 214 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bobzy Malone | 214 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tijs | +2.16 | 83 | 72 |
| #2 | Tavish | +2.07 | 91 | 67 |
| #3 | ボムビー | +2.06 | 80 | 64 |
| #4 | phox | +1.76 | 88 | 62 |
| #5 | morale- | +1.62 | 90 | 74 |





