








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1068 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 496 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4968 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4752 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6288 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5680 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,710,509 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | grobyN | 48% | 273 |
| #7 | andr3 | 47% | 83 |
| #8 | Hveem | 47% | 399 |
| #9 | Pungsaft | 46% | 378 |
| #10 | Skogstad | 45% | 283 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pungsaft | 16 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Hveem | 13 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | grobyN | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Hakki | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Skogstad | 4 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grobyN | 1020 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #2 | Pungsaft | 940 | 0.12 | 30 min |
| #3 | Hveem | 858 | 0.10 | 25 min |
| #4 | Hakki | 476 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #5 | Skogstad | 352 | 0.06 | 11 min |





