








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1073 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10021 | 24% |
| Smokes | 9606 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 12326 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 9052 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,604,918 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 289 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hakki | 49% | 152 |
| #2 | tOMST3R ✯ | 48% | 123 |
| #3 | Rognlin | 48% | 361 |
| #4 | grobyN | 47% | 399 |
| #5 | Schalli | 47% | 399 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schalli | 32 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Pungsaft | 28 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | grobyN | 14 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Rognlin | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | andr3 | 7 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grobyN | 1458 | 0.17 | 39 min |
| #2 | Pungsaft | 1363 | 0.12 | 44 min |
| #3 | Schalli | 1208 | 0.14 | 33 min |
| #4 | Rognlin | 644 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #5 | Hakki | 539 | 0.16 | 15 min |





