








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 601 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10042 | 32% |
| Smokes | 9233 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7255 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4958 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,485,988 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 341 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Norways | 54% | 122 |
| #2 | gabe | 54% | 76 |
| #3 | Schalli | 54% | 141 |
| #4 | Vigga | 53% | 290 |
| #5 | kQrsfarereN | 52% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Hveem | 49% | 152 |
| #11 | Nikolai | 49% | 261 |
| #12 | rns | 46% | 63 |
| #13 | Skogstad | 44% | 66 |
| #14 | Rognlin | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vigga | 19 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Schalli | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Nikolai | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Hveem | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Norways | 6 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vigga | 1261 | 0.20 | 37 min |
| #2 | Rammster | 742 | 0.27 | 20 min |
| #3 | kQrsfarereN | 627 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #4 | Nikolai | 558 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #5 | Norways | 462 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schalli | +2.49 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | Norways | +2.35 | 78 | 62 |
| #3 | kQrsfarereN | +2.00 | 80 | 65 |
| #4 | Vigga | +1.30 | 74 | 68 |
| #5 | Pungsaft | +0.53 | 59 | 73 |





