








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 799 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 662 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7349 | 25% |
| Smokes | 9037 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6006 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7337 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,684,269 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kelly | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | Rammster | 51% | 53 |
| #3 | Hakki | 50% | 120 |
| #4 | andr3 | 49% | 159 |
| #5 | tOMST3R ✯ | 48% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | grobyN | 47% | 332 |
| #7 | Hveem | 47% | 532 |
| #8 | Schalli | 46% | 378 |
| #9 | Skogstad | 45% | 361 |
| #10 | Rognlin | 45% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schalli | 28 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Hveem | 16 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | grobyN | 13 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Skogstad | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Hakki | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grobyN | 1240 | 0.17 | 36 min |
| #2 | Hveem | 1207 | 0.11 | 34 min |
| #3 | Schalli | 1173 | 0.14 | 32 min |
| #4 | Skogstad | 431 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| #5 | Hakki | 419 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schalli | +2.88 | 73 | 68 |
| #2 | Pungsaft | +0.86 | 63 | 73 |
| #3 | tOMST3R ✯ | +0.58 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | Hakki | +0.26 | 66 | 70 |
| #5 | grobyN | -0.26 | 59 | 73 |





