








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 587 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 501 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,670 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4404 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5764 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4754 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3748 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,679,680 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | andr3 | 47% | 109 |
| #2 | Rammster | 47% | 45 |
| #3 | tOMST3R ✯ | 46% | 110 |
| #4 | Pungsaft | 45% | 361 |
| #5 | Schalli | 45% | 283 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Schalli | 45% | 283 |
| #6 | Hakki | 44% | 66 |
| #7 | Hveem | 44% | 360 |
| #8 | grobyN | 44% | 216 |
| #9 | Rognlin | 40% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schalli | 19 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Pungsaft | 18 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | grobyN | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Hveem | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | andr3 | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pungsaft | 925 | 0.12 | 29 min |
| #2 | Schalli | 922 | 0.15 | 26 min |
| #3 | grobyN | 797 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #4 | Hveem | 788 | 0.10 | 24 min |
| #5 | tOMST3R ✯ | 330 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schalli | +2.81 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | Pungsaft | +0.79 | 62 | 73 |
| #3 | tOMST3R ✯ | +0.38 | 66 | 73 |
| #4 | Hakki | -0.22 | 64 | 71 |
| #5 | grobyN | -0.23 | 58 | 75 |





