








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 723 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8191 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,567 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5975 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7003 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6172 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5417 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,499,800 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 432 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🅺🅰🆁🅼🅰 | 57% | 61 |
| #2 | stefan bellof | 55% | 62 |
| #3 | popeye | 55% | 104 |
| #4 | siN | 55% | 86 |
| #5 | river | 54% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | New York | 24 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Vellaa | 14 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Demig0d ☩ -iwnl- | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | popeye | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | switch- | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | New York | 1759 | 0.21 | 50 min |
| #2 | Vellaa | 795 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | Demig0d ☩ -iwnl- | 730 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #4 | sitedmite | 500 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #5 | J-Nippy-Plays | 425 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🅺🅰🆁🅼🅰 | +1.31 | 82 | 77 |
| #2 | Russ | +0.87 | 76 | 69 |
| #3 | R O T O R | +0.86 | 80 | 60 |
| #4 | switch- | +0.76 | 79 | 62 |
| #5 | New York | +0.75 | 82 | 60 |





