








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 476 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2808 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2387 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2252 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2248 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2774 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $934,454 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 274 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | river | 52% | 66 |
| #10 | sitedmite | 51% | 89 |
| #11 | Demig0d ☩ -iwnl- | 47% | 142 |
| #12 | jnr | 45% | 20 |
| #13 | J-Nippy-Plays | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | New York | 13 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | R O T O R | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Demig0d ☩ -iwnl- | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | sitedmite | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | J-Nippy-Plays | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | New York | 759 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #2 | Demig0d ☩ -iwnl- | 396 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | Vellaa | 295 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | sitedmite | 196 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | R O T O R | 162 | 0.07 | 4 min |





