








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




175 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6027 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8183 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4052 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 6847 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,557,549 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 489 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mys | 54% | 72 |
| #2 | Inqu1red | 50% | 259 |
| #3 | Fossa | 49% | 70 |
| #4 | nybia | 48% | 216 |
| #5 | brooklyn | 48% | 323 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | zystie | 42% | 182 |
| #10 | Jay w | 39% | 59 |
| #11 | Noobia | 38% | 50 |
| #12 | a | 37% | 106 |
| #13 | Terra | 36% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brooklyn | 92 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | Inqu1red | 50 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | nybia | 49 | 0.0113 |
| #4 | Pigeon | 36 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | KugelBlitZ | 22 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zystie | 672 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #2 | Inqu1red | 668 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #3 | savant | 549 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #4 | brooklyn | 406 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #5 | Pigeon | 344 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inqu1red | +3.18 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | Noobia | +2.44 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | nybia | +2.16 | 42 | 43 |
| #4 | mys | +1.91 | 50 | 41 |
| #5 | savant | +1.42 | 56 | 71 |





