








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2645 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3146 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2219 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1135 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1953 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,420,868 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | zystie | 52% | 79 |
| #11 | a | 51% | 51 |
| #12 | KugelBlitZ | 49% | 55 |
| #13 | Noobia | 46% | 28 |
| #14 | Prototype | 46% | 223 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brooklyn | 66 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | Prototype | 40 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | Inqu1red | 33 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | nybia | 20 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | zystie | 8 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prototype | 766 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #2 | brooklyn | 418 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Inqu1red | 404 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | zystie | 296 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | savant | 225 | 0.16 | 7 min |





