








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1402 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1298 | 37% |
| Smokes | 698 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 643 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 903 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $578,801 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 69% | 42 |
| #2 | Hernando Gonzalez | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | Rhystart | 64% | 45 |
| #4 | exbower | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Kingrillz | 63% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ubby | 16 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Hernando Gonzalez | 10 | 0.0292 |
| #3 | Monkey Mæn | 9 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 7 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | Rhystart | 6 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ubby | 429 | 0.29 | 13 min |
| #2 | Rhystart | 147 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 145 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hernando Gonzalez | 78 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kingrillz | 63 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ubby | +5.21 | 74 | 72 |
| #2 | Rhystart | +2.98 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | +2.49 | 74 | 50 |
| #4 | Kingrillz | +1.69 | 78 | 57 |
| #5 | exbower | +0.16 | 58 | 23 |





