








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,642 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5062 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4995 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2967 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3618 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $844,866 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hernando Gonzalez | 24 | 0.0244 |
| #2 | Monkey Mæn | 16 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 14 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Rhystart | 12 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Count Chonkulous | 12 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rhystart | 283 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | Count Chonkulous | 264 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 263 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Hernando Gonzalez | 173 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sheesh | 140 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ubby | +3.82 | 76 | 71 |
| #2 | tidy | +3.82 | 92 | 69 |
| #3 | arctic | +2.70 | 89 | 61 |
| #4 | Rhystart | +1.59 | 71 | 61 |
| #5 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | +1.58 | 71 | 55 |





