








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
448 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 474 | 21% |
| Smokes | 612 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 498 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 705 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $392,937 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Santino | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | LORDE | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | VonMoltke | 48% | 71 |
| #4 | Mr_Peanut ツ | 46% | 56 |
| #5 | czerwony policzek jacka | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | andrew golara | 42% | 24 |
| #8 | JANUSZ !!! | 40% | 20 |
| #9 | SUNIA!!! | 37% | 60 |
| #10 | Ssaładick | 35% | 23 |
| #11 | Garda | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr_Peanut ツ | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | andrew golara | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VonMoltke | 126 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Mr_Peanut ツ | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | SUNIA!!! | 73 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Santino | 63 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ssaładick | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VonMoltke | +4.50 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | Mr_Peanut ツ | +1.98 | 82 | 55 |
| #3 | SUNIA!!! | +1.21 | 67 | 68 |
| #4 | czerwony policzek jacka | +0.87 | 57 | 70 |
| #5 | • anarchia18 • | +0.50 | 66 | 61 |





