








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 148 | 8% |
| Smokes | 653 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 462 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 513 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $345,608 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i love my car | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | • anarchia18 • | 63% | 43 |
| #3 | LORDE | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | SUNIA!!! | 55% | 78 |
| #5 | VonMoltke | 53% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Ssaładick | 46% | 46 |
| #9 | SMIELSZY_WACEK | 42% | 24 |
| #10 | Garda | 40% | 15 |
| #11 | the nine | 36% | 25 |
| #12 | JANUSZ !!! | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr_Peanut ツ | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | LORDE | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | SUNIA!!! | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | the nine | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | JANUSZ !!! | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VonMoltke | 129 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | SUNIA!!! | 105 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mr_Peanut ツ | 64 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ssaładick | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | • anarchia18 • | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VonMoltke | +4.21 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | • anarchia18 • | +1.52 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | O_P_O_S | +0.96 | 69 | 44 |
| #4 | SUNIA!!! | +0.89 | 72 | 64 |
| #5 | Mr_Peanut ツ | +0.85 | 79 | 55 |





