








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 157 matches | ||
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2341 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3160 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3501 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2047 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,356,256 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | czerwony policzek jacka | 60% | 42 |
| #2 | • anarchia18 • | 58% | 187 |
| #3 | Garda | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | andrew golara | 55% | 78 |
| #5 | VonMoltke | 55% | 247 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Santino | 50% | 60 |
| #10 | Ssaładick | 47% | 102 |
| #11 | LORDE | 42% | 26 |
| #12 | SMIELSZY_WACEK | 37% | 60 |
| #13 | the nine | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr_Peanut ツ | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | VonMoltke | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | JANUSZ !!! | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | • anarchia18 • | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | andrew golara | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VonMoltke | 417 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #2 | Mr_Peanut ツ | 379 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | • anarchia18 • | 144 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #4 | Santino | 137 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ssaładick | 131 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VonMoltke | +3.68 | 82 | 73 |
| #2 | O_P_O_S | +1.09 | 76 | 60 |
| #3 | Mr_Peanut ツ | +0.50 | 79 | 55 |
| #4 | SUNIA!!! | +0.37 | 66 | 68 |
| #5 | • anarchia18 • | +0.13 | 64 | 59 |





