








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 315 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 155 matches | ||
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1770 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2623 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2420 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2924 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,045,795 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Garda | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | czerwony policzek jacka | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | Santino | 57% | 63 |
| #4 | • anarchia18 • | 57% | 182 |
| #5 | VonMoltke | 55% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JANUSZ !!! | 53% | 62 |
| #7 | SUNIA!!! | 53% | 251 |
| #8 | andrew golara | 48% | 64 |
| #9 | SMIELSZY_WACEK | 46% | 56 |
| #10 | Ssaładick | 40% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VonMoltke | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | SUNIA!!! | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | andrew golara | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | JANUSZ !!! | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | • anarchia18 • | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VonMoltke | 428 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | SUNIA!!! | 340 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | Santino | 161 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | • anarchia18 • | 149 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ssaładick | 139 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VonMoltke | +3.83 | 81 | 74 |
| #2 | Mr_Peanut ツ | +0.67 | 79 | 53 |
| #3 | SUNIA!!! | +0.11 | 63 | 69 |
| #4 | czerwony policzek jacka | -0.00 | 68 | 62 |
| #5 | • anarchia18 • | -0.49 | 63 | 59 |





