








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 776 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3035 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4918 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4287 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3277 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3405 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $501,641 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOSCH SABRE RECIPROCATING SAW | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | wimble | 61% | 116 |
| #3 | Reckentor The Destroyer | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | cheaster | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | sofa | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wimble | 57 | 0.0253 |
| #2 | Wood Meister | 22 | 0.0362 |
| #3 | cheaster | 18 | 0.0319 |
| #4 | Snoodles!! | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | BOSCH SABRE RECIPROCATING SAW | 7 | 0.0141 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wimble | 856 | 0.38 | 16 min |
| #2 | Snoodles!! | 338 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | BOSCH SABRE RECIPROCATING SAW | 70 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Drpringle777 | 53 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | cheaster | 38 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOSCH SABRE RECIPROCATING SAW | +4.18 | 27 | 68 |
| #2 | Ikea, the Wonderful Everyday | +3.19 | 77 | 76 |
| #3 | wimble | +2.37 | 63 | 58 |
| #4 | Reckentor The Destroyer | +0.13 | 40 | 46 |
| #5 | Snoodles!! | -0.20 | 51 | 59 |





