








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3295 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2594 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1316 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2303 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $595,146 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nervy | 81% | 16 |
| #2 | Magma | 64% | 45 |
| #3 | Sammy Cola | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | incya | 58% | 38 |
| #5 | NAV.JB | 58% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | incya | 58% | 38 |
| #5 | NAV.JB | 58% | 26 |
| #6 | super zero | 56% | 32 |
| #7 | Jandr0 | 56% | 72 |
| #8 | sunny | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magma | 19 | 0.0207 |
| #2 | incya | 8 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | sunny | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Jandr0 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | super zero | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jandr0 | 298 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | sunny | 206 | 0.38 | 5 min |
| #3 | Magma | 155 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | incya | 115 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | NAV.JB | 82 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nervy | +3.19 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | Magma | +2.34 | 84 | 58 |
| #3 | Jeux | +1.51 | 84 | 68 |
| #4 | sunny | +0.15 | 66 | 68 |
| #5 | Jandr0 | -0.04 | 70 | 70 |





