








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 628 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 232 matches | ||
| Faceit | 165 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4531 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6435 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5574 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2810 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2729 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,150,564 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 325 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | super zero | 57% | 68 |
| #2 | Jeux | 56% | 72 |
| #3 | Sammy Cola | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | topszn | 30% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | super zero | 57% | 68 |
| #2 | Jeux | 56% | 72 |
| #3 | Sammy Cola | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | topszn | 30% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | topszn | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | super zero | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeux | 319 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | topszn | 296 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | super zero | 180 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Sammy Cola | 69 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jandr0 | +0.79 | 74 | 70 |
| #2 | Jeux | +0.67 | 85 | 68 |
| #3 | super zero | -0.38 | 67 | 53 |
| #4 | Sammy Cola | -1.39 | 68 | 75 |
| #5 | topszn | -4.41 | 48 | 53 |





