








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2221 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1114 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1397 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1006 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1561 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $502,895 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kerim | 63% | 131 |
| #2 | worstplayer | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | DEMACIA!!!!!!! | 60% | 93 |
| #4 | sibylle | 59% | 168 |
| #5 | el hurensohn | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DEMACIA!!!!!!! | 60% | 93 |
| #4 | sibylle | 59% | 168 |
| #5 | el hurensohn | 59% | 17 |
| #6 | zeko | 55% | 106 |
| #7 | J1n | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sibylle | 16 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Kerim | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | zeko | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | DEMACIA!!!!!!! | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | worstplayer | 3 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeko | 694 | 0.31 | 21 min |
| #2 | sibylle | 230 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kerim | 195 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | DEMACIA!!!!!!! | 114 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | worstplayer | 22 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^4C h r i s | +2.75 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | zeko | +1.32 | 82 | 74 |
| #3 | worstplayer | +0.98 | 79 | 56 |
| #4 | Kerim | +0.92 | 79 | 60 |
| #5 | el hurensohn | +0.88 | 83 | 44 |





